Humorous job postings

I've got my resume all prettied up, so I'm on the hunt for a job. I'm still not done with the CPA exam, and I have the next test scheduled for May 2, so I'm kind of taking it easy on the job hunt for right now and trying to jump into the studying head first. It'll be easier to get a job if I have all four of those exams passed! So for now, I'm circulating my resume with friends and business associates. I decided to do a quick scan of craigslist just to see what's out there.

I found a posting for a Financial Analyst position with the following details:

Physical Demands
The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk and hear. The employee frequently is required to stand, walk, sit and use hands to operate a computer keyboard. The employee is occasionally required to reach with hands and arms. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 10 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, and ability to adjust focus. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen a job description, or anything else for that matter, with statements such as that. I got a laugh from it. Hope you do too.

Peace and love.
J

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday I joined "Team Unemployed" an so many else have and will in these dreary and frightening times. Those of you who still have your jobs are extremely lucky and if you haven't already, you should start going above and beyond so you can keep it! I'm keeping busy with updating my resume, emailing my contacts, and searching job postings. I'm also doing the necessary evils of making sure I'm stocked up on prescriptions, canceling my luxury utilities such as my data PDA plan and Netflix. Still contemplating whether I should cancel the gym membership and cable. I've lived without TV before, but it gets depressing when you live alone... And I might be able to put the gym membership on hold, but I'm thinking now is as good a time as any to get into a groove at the gym, not to mention my membership dues were just reduced from $40/month to $20/month because my three year contract just ended. I think that's something I've earned and can't give up... unless I don't find a new job within a month... then I think I'll say adios to Bally... or at least put the membership on hold.

And now for a somewhat humorous story... I just spoke, via facebook chat, with my new cousin-in-law who lives in England. He works for DHL there and said they informed him that hisi job is secure. Why? Because they have a contract with Cadbury. And Cadbury is doing amazingly well during this recession. Apparently chocolate sales are up because when people get depressed, they turn to their tried and true friend: chocolate. (For those of you who don't know, cadbury sells more than just the Easter cream eggs. When I was in Australia, Cadbury was THE chocolate to be had.)

If you happen to know anyone in San Jose or the SF Bay Area who would hire someone with a degree in accounting and 4 years experience as an auditor with a public accounting firm, please let me know. Thanks!

Peace and love.
Julie

Raw Emotion & Inspiration

My friend, and fraternity brother, Jason has picked a fight with cancer. He himself is not stricken with cancer, but cancer has stolen treasures from his life. For the past few years Jason has participated in the LIVESTRONG challenge, cycling for 100 miles to raise money in the fight against cancer. Jason trains for the challenge most of the year, and as he has participated for the past few years, I'd certainly say that he has dedicated his life to the fight.

Watch this video, and tell me you are not moved. Watch this video and tell me you will not support Jason and everyone else who is so brave as to stand up and pick a fight with cancer.



If you were as moved as I was, you can go here to join the fight, and/or here to make a donation in support of Jason.

THANK YOU!

I'm feeling inspired today. Jason inspires me. and there are two women out in the blogosphere who I am happy to have been acquainted with. They are strong, extraordinary women, mothers, friends. So I post this poem in their honor. For Kori and April - Thank you for being phenomenal!

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

from And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou.

Jason, Kori, April, you inspire and humble me. I am grateful to have you in my life.

Wisdom of Gandhi

I came upon this through Twitter. I have a vague recollection of hearing it before, but it's definitely worth repeating and remembering.

The Seven Blunders of the World

• Wealth without work
• Pleasure without conscience
• Knowledge without character
• Commerce without morality
• Science without humanity
• Worship without sacrifice
• Politics without principle

"This list grew from Gandhi's search for the roots of violence. He called these acts of passive violence. Preventing these is the best way to prevent oneself or one's society from reaching a point of violence."