I am SO over all the stupid, new reality shows that are coming out. Television producers must be smoking some major crack these days. Celebrity Circus, Wipe Out, I Survived a Japanese Game Show. You have GOT to be kidding me. I will not watch any of these shows. I seriously cannot believe that new reality shows continue to be rolled out. I thought that it would be a phase, but apparently the American people are not yet tired of all the lame, unintellectual bullshit. Just one more thing to dumb the people down and keep them in front of the television. I wish it would all just go away.
J
Monday, June 23, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Depressed
Last night I found the blog of Matt Logelin (www.mattlogelin.com) who lives in LA. His gorgeous wife, Liz, passed away in March, just 27 hours after giving birth to their little girl, Madeline, who was 7 weeks pre-mature and weighed 3 lbs 14 oz. He writes each night about what he and his daughter did that day. It's so sweet and beautiful, but at the same time horribly, horribly sad and painful. His posts made me cry multiple times last night and today. I couldn't access the site at work, so I read it after work. I've read all his entries up to today. And after I finished reading, I almost felt sick like throwing up. I was so sad and I feel like I know his wife now and I'm so so so terribly sad for him. There's that saying - "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I don't know if that's true. I've never loved (romantically, that is), and I feel like I'd rather keep it that way than fall in love and lose him. It's so oppressively devastating!
So I was at home, sad, but I had told my cousin Marcy I'd come over to her place tonight as she was having a "going away" BBQ of sorts. On Sunday she's leaving for Africa for the summer. I really did not feel like going. I took a nap for probably an hour and then headed over an hour after it started... fashionably late. Being there didn't cheer me up at all. I didn't know anyone else. Then a bunch of girls went into Marcy's room to do a Buddhist chant while a lady, who appeared to be a leader, rolled up the scroll they were chanting to (?). I was very uncomfortable because I'm Christian, I didn't know what they were saying, and I was sad that Marcy seemed to have fallen away from God and chosen to pursue Buddhism. It became overwhelming as they got louder and faster, and then once the scroll was rolled up, put into a box, and then placed in a cabinet the chanting slowed down before ceasing.
Marcy's Mom was there and she told me that Marcy recommended she try attending Buddhist meetings and get into chanting because she'd been having some relationship difficulties. She told me that she did try it, and everything is so much better for her now. I just kept nodding and listening. She said, "I thought at first this would be yet another of Marcy's crazy adventures... Like when she went to Ghana and became a born again Christian. Thankfully she got over that and is into this now. This is much healthier." I was so taken aback by that statement. Had she no idea of my faith and that it was such an integral part of my being, and has been for 26 years?! Her words brought me to my breaking point, and I started to cry. I told Marcy that I had to leave.
I hope that tomorrow is a better day.
Peace and love.
J
So I was at home, sad, but I had told my cousin Marcy I'd come over to her place tonight as she was having a "going away" BBQ of sorts. On Sunday she's leaving for Africa for the summer. I really did not feel like going. I took a nap for probably an hour and then headed over an hour after it started... fashionably late. Being there didn't cheer me up at all. I didn't know anyone else. Then a bunch of girls went into Marcy's room to do a Buddhist chant while a lady, who appeared to be a leader, rolled up the scroll they were chanting to (?). I was very uncomfortable because I'm Christian, I didn't know what they were saying, and I was sad that Marcy seemed to have fallen away from God and chosen to pursue Buddhism. It became overwhelming as they got louder and faster, and then once the scroll was rolled up, put into a box, and then placed in a cabinet the chanting slowed down before ceasing.
Marcy's Mom was there and she told me that Marcy recommended she try attending Buddhist meetings and get into chanting because she'd been having some relationship difficulties. She told me that she did try it, and everything is so much better for her now. I just kept nodding and listening. She said, "I thought at first this would be yet another of Marcy's crazy adventures... Like when she went to Ghana and became a born again Christian. Thankfully she got over that and is into this now. This is much healthier." I was so taken aback by that statement. Had she no idea of my faith and that it was such an integral part of my being, and has been for 26 years?! Her words brought me to my breaking point, and I started to cry. I told Marcy that I had to leave.
I hope that tomorrow is a better day.
Peace and love.
J
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