WTF?

Ok, seriously!? I'm just gonna express a little frustration here... I am single. I have been single pretty much since the beginning of time. (Ok, maybe not the beginning of time, but the beginning of my life.) I'm feelin like I'm ready to end the forever-ness of my singledom. I'm surrounded by non-single people. People who are married. People who have been together for years and most likely will get married soon. People who have just met "the one" for them. People who are my age and having babies. The fact that my Grandparents ask, at every opportunity, whether I have a boyfriend and when on earth am I going to give them a great-grandchild?, makes me feel sometimes like something is wrong with me. This is absolutely absurd because I know full well that I am a great person, nothing is wrong with me, and despite the fact that I lack certain domestic skills, I will make some man very happy some day.

So anyway... Because all the fantastic men I know are already in relationships and my friends apparently don't know any single men, I may have signed up for a couple of websites that serve to connect the soul mates that may never have otherwise met if this fantastical thing called the internet didn't exist. Not havin so much luck with that. I have met a couple guys, spent some hours on the phone getting to know people, even gone on a date or two. I have yet to meet someone who qualifies for a fourth date. It's not that no one is interested in me, or my profile I should say, it's just that I seem to be attracting people who apparently have not read my profile. When I specifically indicate that I'm looking for someone between 24 and 32 who leaves within 50 miles of me and is preferably slightly taller than my jolly-green-giant-status self, it is NOT an invitation for 45-year-old 5'8" divorced fathers of FOUR kids living in GEORGIA to "wink" or "smile" or send me their profiles. Seriously?! WHAT in God's good name ever gave these men the slightest idea that I would be willing, at the age of 25, to move to Georgia and be a step-mother to 4 children!?!!!! It totally baffles me, and creeps me out completely. And I would expect that 45-year-olds would know how to spell, construct a sentence, etc, want to create a profile that appeals to women. I hate to be completely shallow, and I don't think this is completely shallow, but if I have taken the time to learn proper spelling, grammar, and syntax, please honor me with the same. Is that too much to ask?

Where, oh where art thou, my tall, dark, handsome, spelling-bee-winning prince charming?

Until you arrive on your shimmering, white horse,
Peace and love.
J

P.S. Grandma, lay off!! If I could go to a Super Target and pick of the man of my dreams, believe me, I WOULD!

My crazy life

Sometime in April I was told that come May I would be working on a confidential fraud engagement somewhere near San Diego. Here's the timeline...

End of April: I find out I'll be in SD May 7-11 and 14-18.
May 3: I hear they won't be ready on Monday, May 7. Plan to be there Tuesday instead.
May 7: I hear they won't be ready on Tuesday. Plan to be there Wednesday instead.
May 8: I hear they won't be ready Wednesday. Plan to be there Monday, May 14. (at this point, I decide I can go to the grocery store. I had no food since I thought I was leaving town for 2 weeks.)
May 13: I don't want to have to sit in traffic for 100 miles on Monday morning, so I choose to leave Sunday night. I drive down to SD, leaving West LA at 6pm. I arrive at the hotel at about 7:45.

I go to the front desk to check in, and the girl at the desk tells me, "Your reservation was changed to the 16th." (The Manager on our engagement was taking care of the reservations and paying for them all on her credit card as the hotel is ~$200/night.) I think, "hmmm, I checked my email yesterday, but not today. I would assume that if something changed since yesterday someone would have called me." I call my Manager to see what's going on, "Oh no!" she says. "You didn't get the email I sent you last week saying that we're having to push back our start date again?! I am SO sorry. I sent it to you Wednesday or Thursday. You didn't get it? The client's numbers aren't right, and at the earliest we'll find out on Tuesday IF and WHEN we can start our fieldwork. I'll definitely be calling you with schedule changes from here on out."

Yes, good idea.

So I turn around and drive back to West LA. and for some God awful reason there's traffic in Orange County and LA between 8 and 10 p.m. on a Sunday night. I get home at 10:30. Next time, I'm calling the manager before I pack my suitcase and drive 100 miles. and on top of all this madness, I'm taking my audit exam in a week and a half. 4.5 hours of potential study time wasted in So Cal traffic.

J

LOVE

After my last post I couldn't stop thinking about how I could be a better member of the Body of Christ. This, of course, led to frustration because I wish I could change this world for the better, but I feel so helpless against society and politicians. Those thoughts reminded me of this quote: "To the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might just be the world." All I can do is my best. All I can do is try to make a difference in my community and the lives of the people around me.

Sunday morning at church, Pastor Kent spoke on John 13:31-35, and I felt like his message was just for me. Isn't it crazy how God works? He is amazing. If I need to hear something, he will make sure that I get the message! The verses are as follows:

"We he (Judas) had gone out, Jesus said, "Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once. Little children I am with you only a little while longer. You will look for me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, 'Where I am going, you cannot come.' I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Pastor Kent said that glory comes from giving yourself up; making sacrifices; being humble. All these can be done with an attitude of love. Kent gave 5 suggestions for extending love to one another:

1. Offer practical help/assistance. Employ common courtesies.
   
2. Be present. Waste time with each other. Bear each others burdens, believe together, hope together.
3. Have real interest. Put aside your own interests and take an interest in what others enjoy.
4. Delight in one another. Delight in things with someone else. Share joy.
5. Respect. No conditions. Simply - EVERYONE is created in the image of God.

This message spoke to me in a practical way, showing me HOW I can BE a proactive member in the Body of Christ. First, I can give of the love that God first gave me.

Peace and love.
J

We are the body of Christ

After listening to bad music on KIIS FM at work all day I hopped into my car for a commute with Casting Crowns. I have their self titled album from 2003 and I LOVE it. When the second track came on I felt convicted by the lyrics. I haven't been acting as the body of Christ in my daily life. I'm not doing horrible things, but I am not honoring Him and loving others to the fullest extent. I think we should all take these words to heart and encourage each other to live like the Body of Christ that we are.

If We Are the Body
It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

Chorus:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Jesus is the way


Praise Him!
Julie

Fantastic Day

Today was pretty awesome. Today more than EVER I am SO thankful that I live one block from my office. In case you didn't hear, a construction crane fell on the northbound lanes of the 405 freeway today at about 1pm. All lanes were closed. ALL LANES OF THE 405 WERE CLOSED!! for 5 HOURS!! For those of you who don't know LA, the 405 is the lifeblood of So Cal. The only time there is no traffic is probably between 3am and 6am on Sunday. Seriously. As you can imagine, LA was pure madness today. Unfortunately I wasn't actually in my office, so I didn't get to just walk home. I was at a client's office 7 miles away. It took me an hour to get home when it usually takes 30 minutes. Wilshire Blvd East was backed up all the way to Beverly Hills, which is about 5 miles from the 405. Every street leading to Wilshire was backed up. Even though it still took an hour, I was so thankful I didn't still live downtown where I'd probably have to drive 2 hours to get home. The good news is that no one was killed or seriously injured in the accident.

And the most fantastic part of my day is that I'm getting a tax refund of about $1300. Yes, I know this is not good because it means I had too much money withheld for taxes and I didn't earn any interest on this money. I don't care. I AM JUST SO GLAD that I don't owe. I started doing my tax return last week based off my last paycheck, but apparently I had no idea what I was looking at because TurboTax said I owed $400. (I am NOT a tax accountant; I am an auditor.) So praise God that I'm getting a refund because I NEED that money! YAY!!

Peace and love.
J

SNL Skit

Here's the skit from last week's SNL I mentioned in my last blog...

A Special Message From the President of the United States
Announcer: The following is a special address by the President of the United States.
President George W. Bush: Good evening. Three nights ago, I spoke to you about a new strategy for victory in Iraq. A strategy that involved.. a troop surge. The temporary committment of an additional 21,000 U.S. military personnel. From what I've been told, the plan was very well-received. Most people thought it was a fantastic plan, and would work beautifully if given a chance. Of course, the plan had its critics as well. Some, whothink the solution is to cut and run, oppose deployment of any additional troops to Iraq. Others argue that the troop surge is too small. That 21,000 is not enough to get the job done. And that this plan amounts to a "doubling down" on a bad hand. Upon reflection, I believe these critics are right: 21,000 additional troops is not enough. And, with the very survival of our way of life at stake, this is not a time to merely "double down." It's a time to go "all in."

Accordingly, as Commander-in-Chief, I'm ordering the immediate deployment to Iraq of ALL U.S. military personnel. Whether active duty, or reserve. Including: Army, Marine Corps, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, Merchant Marine, and shore patrol. Every single man or woman currently serving in any branch of our armed forces.

In addition, I will use my authority to send to Iraq all other uniformed personnel residing in the U.S., who have training with firearms. Policemen, Corrections Officers, U.S. Marshalls, FBI agents, private security guards, Civil War re-enactors, and, of ocurse, astronauts. And our nation's armed criminal element will have a role as well. The Crips. The Bloods. MS-13, and the Jamaican drug posses, have all been asked to do their part in Iraq, and I have no doubt they will answer their country's call. For this is every American's fight. And, if you wear a uniform, and regularly carry a gun, we need you in Iraq. whether you're a New Jersey state trooper - or Allen Iverson.

And yet, vast as this force will be, it may not be enough to secure victory. That is why I've asked from Congress - and expect to receive - authority to draft other Americans in uniform for service in Iraq. Who are these other Americans? In short, they're our country's true strength. Its forgotten heroes. Though they, too, wear a uniform, we don't usually think of them as defending our freedom. But they do. Everyday. I'm talking about America's firemen, mailmen, park rangers, uniformed sanitation workers, doormen, train conductors, toll booth operators, zookeepers, nursing home attendants, bartenders, Catholic schoolgirls, casino croupiers, limo drivers, shriners, pizza delivery men, exterminators, valet parkers, Explorer Scouts, cleaning ladies, and Century 21 agents. After six weeks of military training, these will join the other troops in Iraq, bringing our total force in that region by Summer to nearly 75 million. Three times the population of the country, and twelve times that of Baghdad. If a force that size can't do the job, well.. we can always add more! [ laughs ]

Critics of this plan will no doubt cite logistical concerns. "How will such a large force be deployed to Iraq?" Well.. surely with a force that size, some kind of discount - or charter fare - would be available. "How would that many troops be fed and housed?" My answer: there are any number of private firms that could handle the job. Personally, I recommend a company called Halliburton. And, finally, "With nearly every able-bodied American, aged 16 through 60, serving in Iraq, who would be left to defend our homeland from attack?" That one's easy. The same people who have been doing it for nearly one-hundred years: the men and women of the Texas Air National Guard.

Thank you. And, "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night."

Good things...

First, SNL was absolutely hysterical last night. Jake Gyllenhaal hosted and the Shins were the musical guests. I was so glad it was funny because the recent episodes I've seen were almost dull. I'd say the whole show last night was great. I laughed the whole time, which I really needed. One of my favorite skits was the opening satire of Bush giving his address on sending more troops. I am not a vocal Bush basher, but when something is funny, you have to admit it and enjoy it. See my next entry for the transcript of the skit.

Yesterday I got a check from my insurance company for my "loss" back in December when my car was broken into and the stereo stolen. I'm pretty sure I made a profit there. They gave me $678!! Sweet. So, today I went over to Best Buy and bought a new stereo. Oh, it's so wonderful to have music in my car again. now I just need to decide whether or not I'll fork out $300 for an alarm...

This morning while hanging out in the youth room before church, I heard a familiar voice coming from the stereo speakers. It sounded like John Mayer, but some of the songs I'd never heard before... So, I opened the CD drawer to find that David left his John Mayer Trio album in there. Well, I didn't have that album, but now I do thanks to iTunes. Falling in love with John all over again. This man is amazing. =) heehee.

Peace and love.
J

It's cold!!

I know we're having record lows all over the state, but is it really necessary for me to have to wear a scarf inside my apartment? It's cold! My gas wall heater broke some time between April and October, so the gas company gave me a red flag (back in Oct/Nov). When I reported this to my landlord he said that they'd rather not fix it and he gave me 2 space heaters to use for the duration of my lease.

I found out at Christmas that it's illegal for the landlord to refuse to fix it. According to California Health & Satety Code, an apartment is legally uninhabitable if the gas and heating facilities are not properly working. I wrote a letter to the landlord and mailed it earlier this week. He should have had it by yesterday, but of course I haven't heard from him regarding that or the email I sent on Tuesday.

The space heaters are OK. They do the job (to some degree), but I'm sure my electricity bill is going to be much higher than expected. For some odd reason I get billed by the LA Department of Water & Power (DWP) every two months. My last payment was Nov. 30, so I'm expecting a bill any day now... Today the space heaters are not doing that great of a job fighting off the cold. I'm wearing my sweats, socks, slippers, and a scarf and my hands are cold. Can't exactly wear gloves while using the computer and turning the pages of my CPA book. Let's hope my landlord takes action soon!

J

The Life of an Auditor

As an auditor I examine and "test" the account balances and transactions of companies to attest to the accuracy of their financial statements. But because I'm only in my second year as an auditor and I don't have my CPA license yet, I get to do all the low level work. This includes performing inventory observations for our clients that maintain inventory balances on their balance sheets at year end. The purpose of me observing and testing the client's inventory count is to verify that they perform the count in accordance with their established policies and procedures and that their inventory is properly reported in their financial statements. Since we just had year end, I've been pretty busy in the inventory department. Below is a recap of all the things I've had the pleasure of counting in the past two weeks...

1. I went to a dealership of special access vehicles to count mini-vans and commercial vans with modifications for disabled persons.

2. I went to a warehouse in Compton to spend time in a warehouse-sized -14 degree freezer to count 11,900 boxes of frozen beef strips. I will forever compare all cold weather to my experience in a -14 degree freezer! That was definitely the coldest I have EVER been. Immediately upon entering the freezer, my nose hairs froze, which is quite possibly the most bizarre sensation I've ever felt.

3. On New Year's Eve I went to the mall to count cell phones and accessories at a T-Mobile kiosk.

4. I got to drive to Camarillo to count a warehouse full of heating and air conditioning units.

5. My co-worker and I drove down to Orange County to observe the making of razor blades and count two warehouses full of box cutters, letter openers, staple removers, etc. I had no idea there was such a huge market for box cutters, but grocery stores all over the country do need to arm their staff with them. Did you know that they make right-handed and left-handed box cutters?

6. And last, but not least I traveled all the way to Spokane, WA this past Thursday in order to be at a printing warehouse at 7am on Friday to count rolls of paper and tanks of ink. It's amazing how many different kinds of paper there are, and in huge rolls they all look the same. It was in the high 20s and snowing in Spokane, but that's nothing compared to a -14 degree freezer!

Six inventory observations in one season is pretty huge. I performed more than anyone else in my office. I'm a pro now. Give me a holler if you ever need anything counted.

My turn to be sick

I spent November and December avoiding the sicknesses running rampant through the office. I was one of maybe 3 or 4 people who didn't get a cold, bronchitis, or pneumonia. It finally caught me though. I felt a tickle in my throat on Thursday morning and woke up miserable yesterday. Spent most all day yesterday and today just chillin' on the couch trying to rest. My fantastic cousin Marcy came over today with some soup, oranges, and "throat coat" tea. That made me feel better! Thanks, Marcy!

Thankfully this week is relatively slow at work, so it won't be a big deal if I miss a day or two to rest up. The only thing I'm stressed about is my test. I should have been studying all weekend, but with my head all blocked up I couldn't stay awake or focused. =( Please pray for quick recovery so I can get back to studying. And please pray that I study smart and can retain the information I need to pass this exam.

Peace and love.
J

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! My prayer for you is that you will be richly blessed this coming year and that you will share those blessings with everyone you interact with. Share God's love and be a light in the lives of those who need encouragement or do not know Him.

My resolution for 2007 is to study a lot, and more productively, in order to pass the CPA exam.

Health update: My ear nose & throat doctor finally returned my calls, and my sinus CT was normal. Back to square one with trying to figure out what's up. My dad is convinced that I'm allergic to LA and need to move back to Northern California. I have an appointment with an allergist next week.

Peace and love,
J