Where has the time gone?

Wow! I haven't posted in 20 days! I didn't realize it had been that long! Sorry folks. I am alive, but things are crazy. We had month-end and quarter-end stuff at work that kept me busy so I couldn't be web surfing or blogging. And because we implemented a new accounting system at work on July 1, I have continued to be extremely busy. I have people stopping by my desk ALL day long, so I try to keep work-related stuff up on my monitor. ;-)

I also went to Las Vegas over the 4th of July weekend. I did a LOT of partying and was intoxicated three nights in a row, so I was exhausted all of last week. (And with all the calories I consumed in Vegas between the buffet, the numerous drinks, and the late night/early morning pizza binges, I only gained a half a pound as of last week's Wednesday weigh-in!!! I was pretty damn proud of myself! But the weigh-in wench made her comment AGAIN. I finally gave her a piece of my mind - told her I didn't appreciate it and it was only a half a pound. She better not say anything to me tomorrow or she'll get another piece of my mind, although hopefully tomorrow the scales will tell me I'm a loser!) I fell asleep (way earlier than usual) on the couch every night last week. Now I'm caught up on sleep, but thanks to physical therapy on my shoulder, I've been in quite a bit of pain. The pain is so bad that I took 800mg of ibuprofen and a muscle relaxant, and I STILL felt it. And pain makes me very cranky. And when I'm cranky I don't want to do anything, including blog. So there's that.

Hopefully I'll be back to my usual self soon. I know you're all riveted to your feed readers waiting for me to post something witty. hahaha.

Peace and love.
J

Humorous job postings

I've got my resume all prettied up, so I'm on the hunt for a job. I'm still not done with the CPA exam, and I have the next test scheduled for May 2, so I'm kind of taking it easy on the job hunt for right now and trying to jump into the studying head first. It'll be easier to get a job if I have all four of those exams passed! So for now, I'm circulating my resume with friends and business associates. I decided to do a quick scan of craigslist just to see what's out there.

I found a posting for a Financial Analyst position with the following details:

Physical Demands
The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk and hear. The employee frequently is required to stand, walk, sit and use hands to operate a computer keyboard. The employee is occasionally required to reach with hands and arms. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 10 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, and ability to adjust focus. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen a job description, or anything else for that matter, with statements such as that. I got a laugh from it. Hope you do too.

Peace and love.
J

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday I joined "Team Unemployed" an so many else have and will in these dreary and frightening times. Those of you who still have your jobs are extremely lucky and if you haven't already, you should start going above and beyond so you can keep it! I'm keeping busy with updating my resume, emailing my contacts, and searching job postings. I'm also doing the necessary evils of making sure I'm stocked up on prescriptions, canceling my luxury utilities such as my data PDA plan and Netflix. Still contemplating whether I should cancel the gym membership and cable. I've lived without TV before, but it gets depressing when you live alone... And I might be able to put the gym membership on hold, but I'm thinking now is as good a time as any to get into a groove at the gym, not to mention my membership dues were just reduced from $40/month to $20/month because my three year contract just ended. I think that's something I've earned and can't give up... unless I don't find a new job within a month... then I think I'll say adios to Bally... or at least put the membership on hold.

And now for a somewhat humorous story... I just spoke, via facebook chat, with my new cousin-in-law who lives in England. He works for DHL there and said they informed him that hisi job is secure. Why? Because they have a contract with Cadbury. And Cadbury is doing amazingly well during this recession. Apparently chocolate sales are up because when people get depressed, they turn to their tried and true friend: chocolate. (For those of you who don't know, cadbury sells more than just the Easter cream eggs. When I was in Australia, Cadbury was THE chocolate to be had.)

If you happen to know anyone in San Jose or the SF Bay Area who would hire someone with a degree in accounting and 4 years experience as an auditor with a public accounting firm, please let me know. Thanks!

Peace and love.
Julie

Oh hi

Yeah, I know, I've been away for quite a while. Life is hectic and stressful right now. Found out I failed that damn test again. I got a 72 and all I need is a 75 to pass. Well, I'll pass next time. 4th time's a charm, right? I'll elaborate more in, like, May when I have time, but I have to take 2 exams in April. It's also busy season for accountants right now, and I'm required to work 50 billable hours per week. Not just 50 hours, but 50 billable hours. So if I do stuff that's not billable, those hours are on top of the 50 hours. Awesome, right? And of course that leaves plenty of time to study for 2 exams... I'm losing my mind. I really am.

But I'm not the only one who's a little ticked right now... Let's join Bobby in boycotting Orbitz.com, shall we? Yay for banding together against a-holes and companies that "provide" bad customer "service"!

I hope you all are well.

Peace and love.

Julie

Quite possibly the most absurd thing ever

The client's office I'm working at this week has 4 very wide parking spaces in front labeled "Visitor". My co-worker and I have been parking in those spots all week because we are, after all, visitors. Today the accounting manager asked that we no longer park in the visitor spots.

Why?

Because the CEO parks his fancy-ass Mercedes (or BMW... I didn't pay attention) in a visitor spot and he doesn't want any cars parked next to his because he's afraid his precious little car will get scratched.

Wait. I'm sorry. WHAT?!

WTF?! Are you kidding me? Dude, my car probably cost 1/4 of what yours cost, but I don't want to scratch your car as much I as I don't want my car scratched. And it's not like the parking spots are narrow. I seriously parked at least 3 feet away from the car. Wow. Just wow.

I mean, how can you live your life like that? How could it be satisfying to buy such expensive things that you waste your time that they're going to be dinged? I can't imagine that he'd ever drive it anywhere other than to the office where he has a super wide spot directly in front of his office window so he can keep his eye on it. Ridiculous!!

Update

Just a quick post to make a whole ton of announcements...

I'm going to be an aunt. My brother and his girlfriend are expecting a baby in February.
I'm moving to San Jose to be closer to my family (and be an aunt in person).
I'm moving in NINE days!!
I'm transferring with my same company, and I will have a lot more opportunities and a lot more work in the SJ office.
I passed the CPA exam that I took in July!!! One more left and then I'm done forever!!
I went to New Hampshire for the wedding of my good friends Ken & Kirstin. It was a beautiful wedding, a super fun reception, and an overall great trip/mini-vacation.
Charlotte is still super cute and happy that I'm done traveling. She had a flea infestation, but thank God, I think they're all gone.

I'll be back with more posts after my move. I'm taking my fourth, and final, exam on October 25, so maybe I won't be back until after that. Who knows. My posts are infrequent and unreliable!

J

Nice auditor

I am required to do a standard "fraud interview" with each client that I audit. Today I interviewed the Controller of the company I am currently auditing. After all the standard questions and acceptable answers, I asked if there was anything else he wanted to say.

"Yes," he said, "You're a very nice auditor."

How sweet! LOL. It's always a pleasure to be told you're nice!

Peace & love.
J

Slacker

Yeah, it's been a while, but I didn't realize it's been nearly two months since I last posted. Not that anyone reads this except Salome and now possibly Platypus King. But, yeah, I feel guilty like I'm letting you guys down. Silly, I know. BUT... I'm an auditor and it's my busy season AND I got sick last week! Excuses, excuses.

I've only worked 2 weeks where I put in 12 hour days, so that's been a blessing this year. And I haven't worked a single Saturday! I'm still not feeling 100% since my cold and I have another horrendous week of audit fieldwork ahead of me, so I'll just leave it at that and be back in a week or two with more wit and less bitterness.

J

How to have a good day

I honestly can't believe that the events/lack of events of my day have left me feeling so great. First, I woke up at 4:45am to get to my client's office as early as I could/would since the accounting manager works from 6am to 2pm. At first I was totally dreading it, but once I got on the road to downtown LA, I was awake and ready to face the day.

Amazingly the client had nearly everything ready for me, and was very friendly! Pretty much everyone in their office left by 3, so when I finished up what I could without their assistance, I left at 3:45! This allowed me to get home at 4:15 and then head over to the gym before it got crowded with the after-work crowd. I had my first work out since the car accident. It wasn't bad, but I could only go for 35 minutes before I got a killer headache. Got home by 6, showered, and had a nice healthy dinner of soup and broccoli.

Now it's 7 o'clock and I feel motivated to create some jewelry and hopefully get in some reading. I've been working on reading the Kite Runner, but it's been slow going with my fatigue and laziness. I'll post some pictures of my jewelry next time I blog.

Peace & love,
J

Blah

I got in a minor car accident on January 12. No injuries, but I was sore for a while from tensing up immediately before and during impact. The car is currently in the body shop with at least $2500 in damages. The accident wasn't a huge deal, but it brought me down pretty low. I haven't felt joyful or too creative since then. My mood probably isn't based entirely on the fender bender, but it started there.

Last week I worked at a client's office in Irvine. Because the Controller was busy generating W-2s and 1099s, she essentially tried to avoid me while I was there. It's hard being the "hated" auditor. I know it has nothing to do with me personally, and everything to do with my position as the disruptor of the client's daily duties, but it still gets to me. Additionally, I was staying in a hotel so I wouldn't have to spend at least 3 hours commuting each day. While the hotel, with in-room spa tubs, was fantastic, last week was terribly lonely. I'm used to being alone since I live on my own, but last week was just too much - compounded with lingering pain from the accident and the stress of trying to get things done at work.

Sorry to be "Debbie Downer" but I just wanted to post something...

Julie

Must be nice

My favorite part of my job is getting to look through the credit card statements of some high-net-worth clients.

• $10k at a big name department store, in ONE visit, half of which was returned... Buy everything that looks good? Try it on at home? Return what doesn't fit?
• $15 - 35k per month on the AMEX card...
• Having assistants order anything you see and desire in magazines...

I couldn't even imagine.

Hello 2008

So, ever since Salome left me a comment last week that I need to blog more, I've felt this overwhelming guilt and nagging obligation to write something. So here I am...

I got sick on Wednesday, spent Thursday at home, and then went back to work today even though I still didn't feel too hot. We were all moving desks/offices at work today as a result of year-end promotions. Since I got promoted, I got to move from a cubicle to an office, which I'm sharing with another Senior... so I wanted to be at work to make sure no one messed with my desk on moving day.

So anyway... now that it's the new year, my vision insurance coverage starts over and I can get a new prescription and new lenses! Yes, I'm a TOTAL dork. Who gets that excited about new glasses?! Much to my concern, my vision has become blurry and strained since my last check-up, which was only last March! Thankfully my doctor said further worsening can be prevented... I have to have 2 pairs of glasses! I feel like an old lady! Since I'm near-sighted, I'll have a pair of distance glasses for regular use. Then I'll need "computer glasses" for reading, doing work up-close and working on computers. (In case you cared, these will allow my eye muscles to relax when I'm not looking in the distance.) And because I am super sensitive to the sun, I like prescription sunglasses. AND because I'm young and want to switch it up when I go out (if ever), I got contacts. Yeah, so all said and done, I spent about $850 at the optometrist today!! My insurance covered the cost of contacts (fittings, follow-up, etc) and then I had to pay out of pocket for 3 pairs of lenses. And this doesn't even include frames. I brought in my own frames to get the new lenses "installed" in. Well, hopefully since I'll be preventing further worsening of my vision by wearing two different kinds of glasses, I won't have to spend the big bucks again next year!

I was thinking I could get a chain to go around my neck so I could hang my alternate glasses on them... You know, wearing my "computer glasses" and hanging the distance glasses around my neck so they're accessible when I need them! LOL. Could you imagine?

Sorry this was boring, but at least it was something, Salome! I'll get back to being witty when I'm feeling better.

Julie

My crazy life

Sometime in April I was told that come May I would be working on a confidential fraud engagement somewhere near San Diego. Here's the timeline...

End of April: I find out I'll be in SD May 7-11 and 14-18.
May 3: I hear they won't be ready on Monday, May 7. Plan to be there Tuesday instead.
May 7: I hear they won't be ready on Tuesday. Plan to be there Wednesday instead.
May 8: I hear they won't be ready Wednesday. Plan to be there Monday, May 14. (at this point, I decide I can go to the grocery store. I had no food since I thought I was leaving town for 2 weeks.)
May 13: I don't want to have to sit in traffic for 100 miles on Monday morning, so I choose to leave Sunday night. I drive down to SD, leaving West LA at 6pm. I arrive at the hotel at about 7:45.

I go to the front desk to check in, and the girl at the desk tells me, "Your reservation was changed to the 16th." (The Manager on our engagement was taking care of the reservations and paying for them all on her credit card as the hotel is ~$200/night.) I think, "hmmm, I checked my email yesterday, but not today. I would assume that if something changed since yesterday someone would have called me." I call my Manager to see what's going on, "Oh no!" she says. "You didn't get the email I sent you last week saying that we're having to push back our start date again?! I am SO sorry. I sent it to you Wednesday or Thursday. You didn't get it? The client's numbers aren't right, and at the earliest we'll find out on Tuesday IF and WHEN we can start our fieldwork. I'll definitely be calling you with schedule changes from here on out."

Yes, good idea.

So I turn around and drive back to West LA. and for some God awful reason there's traffic in Orange County and LA between 8 and 10 p.m. on a Sunday night. I get home at 10:30. Next time, I'm calling the manager before I pack my suitcase and drive 100 miles. and on top of all this madness, I'm taking my audit exam in a week and a half. 4.5 hours of potential study time wasted in So Cal traffic.

J

The Life of an Auditor

As an auditor I examine and "test" the account balances and transactions of companies to attest to the accuracy of their financial statements. But because I'm only in my second year as an auditor and I don't have my CPA license yet, I get to do all the low level work. This includes performing inventory observations for our clients that maintain inventory balances on their balance sheets at year end. The purpose of me observing and testing the client's inventory count is to verify that they perform the count in accordance with their established policies and procedures and that their inventory is properly reported in their financial statements. Since we just had year end, I've been pretty busy in the inventory department. Below is a recap of all the things I've had the pleasure of counting in the past two weeks...

1. I went to a dealership of special access vehicles to count mini-vans and commercial vans with modifications for disabled persons.

2. I went to a warehouse in Compton to spend time in a warehouse-sized -14 degree freezer to count 11,900 boxes of frozen beef strips. I will forever compare all cold weather to my experience in a -14 degree freezer! That was definitely the coldest I have EVER been. Immediately upon entering the freezer, my nose hairs froze, which is quite possibly the most bizarre sensation I've ever felt.

3. On New Year's Eve I went to the mall to count cell phones and accessories at a T-Mobile kiosk.

4. I got to drive to Camarillo to count a warehouse full of heating and air conditioning units.

5. My co-worker and I drove down to Orange County to observe the making of razor blades and count two warehouses full of box cutters, letter openers, staple removers, etc. I had no idea there was such a huge market for box cutters, but grocery stores all over the country do need to arm their staff with them. Did you know that they make right-handed and left-handed box cutters?

6. And last, but not least I traveled all the way to Spokane, WA this past Thursday in order to be at a printing warehouse at 7am on Friday to count rolls of paper and tanks of ink. It's amazing how many different kinds of paper there are, and in huge rolls they all look the same. It was in the high 20s and snowing in Spokane, but that's nothing compared to a -14 degree freezer!

Six inventory observations in one season is pretty huge. I performed more than anyone else in my office. I'm a pro now. Give me a holler if you ever need anything counted.

Gettin this party started

Welcome to my blog. Not much to it yet, but I'm just getting started. I don't know what I'll write here since I like to keep my innermost thoughts private and some things no one would care to read about. There isn't much in my life that is thrilling enough to write about in a blog and interest the general public. I'm sure no one wants to hear about being an auditor. For now I'll share with you a few of my favorite websites that you can check out...

****www.pbase.com - Where thousands of photographers from all over the world post their photos. Anyone can browse through them. Most people leave their albums public, but some are private. There are "Picture A Day" galleries and contests, links to "Favorite" photos and photographers.

****www.greyswriters.com - Where the writers of Grey's Anatomy blog about the episodes right after they're aired (Thursdays at 9pm on ABC). I know it's essentially a soap-opera, but I'm hooked on this show!

****www.johnmayer.com/blog - Where John Mayer reveals his humor and amazing personality. Not only is he a phenomenal artist, he's also quite a comedian.

****http://elevation-youth.blogspot.com - The high school youth group of Westside Christian Fellowship and Pacifica Christian High where I'm on the leader team

I'm currently in the process of studying for and taking the CPA exams, so I really shouldn't be blogging at all! I should spend every spare moment studying for these darned exams. Maybe I can blog at work when I have a few minutes of down time. (Shhh... don't tell my boss.)

Keep it real.
Julie