That's Miss CPA to you!

Monday, March 15

Yes, the day has FINALLY come! I am officially a Certified Public Accountant in the state of California! Woo hoo!!! Since the California Board of Accountancy (CBA) deposited my check for the initial license fee, I'd been checking the CBA's licensee page to see if they had posted my name. Because even though I passed all the tests and my application had been approved, I was expressly warned that I may NOT call myself a CPA until I had my certificate number. Well I got that number on Thursday morning. I was so excited I just wanted to squeal at my desk at work. I am so, so, SO relieved to be done with this!!!

In other news, yesterday, March 14, was my birthday. I'm a whopping 28 years old now. Ack! I'm almost 30!! For my birthday I finally got a new car stereo receiver. About 9 months ago the radio part of the receiver I had stopped working; and it was only a year and a half old at that time... for those of you who have been with me for a while, recall that my stereo was stolen out of my car right before Christmas 2007 when I was living in LA. Of course I didn't get the extended warranty at Best Buy, so I decided to just live with the CD player and AUX port that allowed me to play my iPod. But I have SO missed the radio. I have no clue what the popular tunes are right now. My brother said that's totally fine because there is nothing good on anyway. However, I do love a certain morning show, so now I can listen to that during my 12 minute commute! Oh, and the point I was getting at is that when I went to Best Buy to have the guy look at my busted stereo, I watched him remove it from the dash. Cut to me installing the new stereo just moments ago! I just LOVE being self sufficient!


Tuesday, March 16

So in the middle of writing this post at 7:30 yesterday evening I received a text from my friend that said, "Um, are you on your way over?" and I sent a text back, "Oh shit I totally forgot!!" I was supposed to have been at my friend's house for dinner at 7! So hastily I left the apartment and hopped in the car. I was pretty excited to be getting to listen to my new stereo while cruising down the freeway on a beautiful Spring evening. I was at a stop light about a half mile from my apartment listening to a rowdy song by Rihanna (lyrics NSFW) - hey, the beat is awesome, ok?! - and I see out of the corner of my eye that the guy in the car next to me is waving. I roll down my window and turned down my borderline obscenely loud music, and say "Hi..." He says, "Hey. How you doin tonight? Here take down my number before the light turns green." So I humor him and type his number into my phone. I say, "What is your name?" and think to myself it's a total deal-breaker when a guy doesn't ask my name before asking for my number/giving me his number.

However, I think about how I haven't been on a date since I went to a baseball game with that loser in September, and how I have no dates lined up in the foreseeable future. The light turns green, and my new "friend" Lavell says "Call me" before we both drive off. I'm not about to be the one to call him when he hit on me, so at the next stoplight I send him a text saying, "Here's my number". He texts back with, "How u doin"... um, I thought we already covered that back at the stoplight. I say, "Enjoying my new car stereo... obviously. You?" and he replies a bit later, "just got home"... and that was it. While at dinner at my friend's house I saw that I had a missed call from him at 9pm, but no voicemail... so I send a text saying, "I'm at a friend's house for dinner". He says, "Ok." and I haven't heard from him since. And now I totally regret sending him a text message in the first place, but whatever, it doesn't look like he's going to use my number. But thinking back... He hits on me at a stop light (ghetto) while I'm listening to some highly inappropriate lyrics (he probably thinks I'm a whore) and then he has nothing more to say than "how u doin" (degenerate). I would just like to say, as I'm sure you've all noticed here, I'm a HUGE spelling and grammar snob. I detest "text spelling" with the r and the u and the b4 and the lack of punctuation. It just breeds improper spelling and grammar in other aspects of life. Yes, I know, I admit it, I'm a snob. My coworkers today told me that I need to get over it and embrace the texting shortcuts because you have a limited number of characters and have to squeeze it all in whichever way possible. No. I protest. Honest to God, I could never marry a man who can't spell common words. And if a man can spell really well, instant brownie points in my book. Yes, I'm a nerd.

Quick tangent... in high school I had a major crush on a guy. My parents were getting divorced at the time and, of course, it was taking a toll on me. He wrote me an email one day saying something like, "I know how you feel. My parents got a devorse too." The crush instantly evaporated.

Anyway... Since my last post my Landy love has celebrated his first birthday. Somewhere around the beginning of January this little boy exploded with personality. He is the funniest thing ever right now!




Peace and love.
J

I met my prince charming an @sshole

I found a coupon code for eHarmony which got me a 3-month subscription for only $29.99! This is a crazy good deal because the usual cost is $59.99 for ONE month!! I'm about 2 months into the subscription now, and I've only communicated with two guys. One guy I just started "open communication" with today. The other guy, the prince charming, named Todd initiated communication with me on Labor Day. I wasn't sure that I'd be attracted to him based on his pictures, but we emailed back and forth during that week and even talked on the phone one night for 2 hours! He was funny and we obviously had enough in common to have easy conversation for 2 hours. He asked me out for that Friday night. I accepted, and we went to the San Francisco Giants game.

I had fun, and he was nice and funny, but totally cheesy. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it's annoying. And good Lord, it was TOTALLY obvious that he thought I was hot and he was like so lucky to be out with me. haha. Very odd for me because that never happens to me. When we first met at the train station, he came up and he was grinning from ear to ear and he was like, "It's nice to meet you." I was waiting to pay for my parking, so I said "it's nice to meet you too" then he repeated it. And after I paid, we walked away from the pay station and he said it AGAIN. and continued grinning like an idiot. And then I said, "You wanna say it again?" He knew I was joking cause we'd joked on the phone and via email.

Then on the train ride there were no open seats so we had to stand. He kept staring at me, smiling, and he continued to all night. It's nice he thought that I'm so gorgeous, but seriously, calm the frick down and stop staring at me. Oh, and I was 100% not attracted to him.

When we were walking to the stadium he told me that I look great, and then as we were walking up the stairs to our seats, he was walking behind me and said, "Yeah. You definitely look great" (as in he was checking out my ass). I was annoyed - definitely not cool for a first date. I'm looking for someone with a little more class. So I stepped into an aisle, turned around and said, "Excuse me?!" and motioned for him to walk ahead of me.

When we were sitting and watching the game, he kept trying to touch me... touched my knee a couple times when I was joking and said something stupid and then put his arm around me for a quick side hug when I realized in the 8th inning that BOTH teams (not just the Giants) were wearing red hats (in honor of 9/11).

On the train ride home we ended up in seats facing each other and he continued to stare at me. At one point I said, "What?" and said, "I'm just looking at you." Awkward! When we were parting ways he said, "So maybe I'll see you again soon?" and I said, "Maybe." and he was like, "Oh? Well, I guess if I ask right!"

But, I did have fun, so it wasn't a total loss.

I didn't hear from him that weekend, so I thought I'd gotten off easy. Nope... Wednesday night I got an email from him:

Subject: Hiya

From: Todd

To: Julie

Hi Julie,

I was left with the vibe that you weren't really into me (if I'm wrong, let me know) and since I haven't heard from you, I figure that was what was going on, but I wanted to thank you again for coming out to meet me. I did have a good time. :-)

~Todd

*********************************************

From: Julie

To: Todd

Hi Todd,

I did have a good time as well, but I did not feel any chemistry. Thank you for the fun evening! Best of luck to you in your search.

Julie

*********************************************

From: Todd

To: Julie

You're welcome. As a helpful hint, it's nice to show thanks on the date, or offer to pay something for the evening (especially if you didn't feel chemistry).

~T.

*********************************************

From: Julie

To: Todd

I'm sorry you didn't notice, but I did say thank you multiple times during the evening. And you didn't really allow me an opportunity to pay for anything as you paid for the game tickets and train tickets before I arrived, and then made the offer to get the food on your own. I'd be happy to send you money to cover my portion of the evening. Just let me know what your address is and how much it was.

And as long as we're offering helpful hints, try not to make your date uncomfortable by staring at her or making comments that she looks great while you're walking behind her (and obviously commenting on her ass).

*********************************************

Seriously?!?!? RUDE!!!

Here's hoping you are either in a relationship or don't have to encounter a loser like this in your dating adventures!

Peace and love.

J

WTF?

Ok, seriously!? I'm just gonna express a little frustration here... I am single. I have been single pretty much since the beginning of time. (Ok, maybe not the beginning of time, but the beginning of my life.) I'm feelin like I'm ready to end the forever-ness of my singledom. I'm surrounded by non-single people. People who are married. People who have been together for years and most likely will get married soon. People who have just met "the one" for them. People who are my age and having babies. The fact that my Grandparents ask, at every opportunity, whether I have a boyfriend and when on earth am I going to give them a great-grandchild?, makes me feel sometimes like something is wrong with me. This is absolutely absurd because I know full well that I am a great person, nothing is wrong with me, and despite the fact that I lack certain domestic skills, I will make some man very happy some day.

So anyway... Because all the fantastic men I know are already in relationships and my friends apparently don't know any single men, I may have signed up for a couple of websites that serve to connect the soul mates that may never have otherwise met if this fantastical thing called the internet didn't exist. Not havin so much luck with that. I have met a couple guys, spent some hours on the phone getting to know people, even gone on a date or two. I have yet to meet someone who qualifies for a fourth date. It's not that no one is interested in me, or my profile I should say, it's just that I seem to be attracting people who apparently have not read my profile. When I specifically indicate that I'm looking for someone between 24 and 32 who leaves within 50 miles of me and is preferably slightly taller than my jolly-green-giant-status self, it is NOT an invitation for 45-year-old 5'8" divorced fathers of FOUR kids living in GEORGIA to "wink" or "smile" or send me their profiles. Seriously?! WHAT in God's good name ever gave these men the slightest idea that I would be willing, at the age of 25, to move to Georgia and be a step-mother to 4 children!?!!!! It totally baffles me, and creeps me out completely. And I would expect that 45-year-olds would know how to spell, construct a sentence, etc, want to create a profile that appeals to women. I hate to be completely shallow, and I don't think this is completely shallow, but if I have taken the time to learn proper spelling, grammar, and syntax, please honor me with the same. Is that too much to ask?

Where, oh where art thou, my tall, dark, handsome, spelling-bee-winning prince charming?

Until you arrive on your shimmering, white horse,
Peace and love.
J

P.S. Grandma, lay off!! If I could go to a Super Target and pick of the man of my dreams, believe me, I WOULD!