WTF?

Ok, seriously!? I'm just gonna express a little frustration here... I am single. I have been single pretty much since the beginning of time. (Ok, maybe not the beginning of time, but the beginning of my life.) I'm feelin like I'm ready to end the forever-ness of my singledom. I'm surrounded by non-single people. People who are married. People who have been together for years and most likely will get married soon. People who have just met "the one" for them. People who are my age and having babies. The fact that my Grandparents ask, at every opportunity, whether I have a boyfriend and when on earth am I going to give them a great-grandchild?, makes me feel sometimes like something is wrong with me. This is absolutely absurd because I know full well that I am a great person, nothing is wrong with me, and despite the fact that I lack certain domestic skills, I will make some man very happy some day.

So anyway... Because all the fantastic men I know are already in relationships and my friends apparently don't know any single men, I may have signed up for a couple of websites that serve to connect the soul mates that may never have otherwise met if this fantastical thing called the internet didn't exist. Not havin so much luck with that. I have met a couple guys, spent some hours on the phone getting to know people, even gone on a date or two. I have yet to meet someone who qualifies for a fourth date. It's not that no one is interested in me, or my profile I should say, it's just that I seem to be attracting people who apparently have not read my profile. When I specifically indicate that I'm looking for someone between 24 and 32 who leaves within 50 miles of me and is preferably slightly taller than my jolly-green-giant-status self, it is NOT an invitation for 45-year-old 5'8" divorced fathers of FOUR kids living in GEORGIA to "wink" or "smile" or send me their profiles. Seriously?! WHAT in God's good name ever gave these men the slightest idea that I would be willing, at the age of 25, to move to Georgia and be a step-mother to 4 children!?!!!! It totally baffles me, and creeps me out completely. And I would expect that 45-year-olds would know how to spell, construct a sentence, etc, want to create a profile that appeals to women. I hate to be completely shallow, and I don't think this is completely shallow, but if I have taken the time to learn proper spelling, grammar, and syntax, please honor me with the same. Is that too much to ask?

Where, oh where art thou, my tall, dark, handsome, spelling-bee-winning prince charming?

Until you arrive on your shimmering, white horse,
Peace and love.
J

P.S. Grandma, lay off!! If I could go to a Super Target and pick of the man of my dreams, believe me, I WOULD!