I think I'm in LOVE (but not really)

I just found a profile on match.com that made me smile so good. Who knows if all the items on his list are original, but I love it! I imagine some are original because I think he mentions at least two and three times that he has a career. LOL. Anyway... I hope it makes you smile. (Although... I'm not quite sure what girl would want to date him because of #65...)

"I am very mature and goal oriented. I want someone that uses personification, metaphors and similes on a regular basis! Here are is my 95 reasons why you should date me: 1. I go to the gym 2. I have a career, not a job 3. I've got a shiny new Blockbuster card waiting just for you 4. I promise not to use your back to keep my feet warm 5. I'll let you push me on the swings 6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste 7. I'll stash little notes for you where you'll least expect them 8. We’ll make history together 9. I will scratch your back 10. Sleeping alone just sucks.... period! 11. I’ve traveled outside the U.S. 12. There isn't anything I feel I can't tell you 13. I wish I could give you all of my firsts 14. I won’t nag you to watch sports 15. You’re safe with me 16. I'll wait for you even if you're late 17. I'll lick the envelope for you 18. I work 19. I'll let you sneak a taste when I'm cooking 20. I know CPR 21. I won't make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family Christmas parties 22. You turn me on! 23. You love my dorkiness 24. When you are trying to keep count, I will try and mess you up 25. You’re magically delicious 26. I suck at strip poker 27. I’ll hold your coffee for you when you’re driving 28. I have a career 29. I promise not to burn the house down while you’re gone 30. I listen to pretty much anything 31. I’ll make you Mickey Mouse pancakes 32. I won’t bite unless you want me to 33. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we are doing it together 34. I’ll circle your birthday on my calendar 35. I'll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv 36. I'll carve your initials in a tree 37. I won’t swear around your family 38. I dance 39. I have a car 40. I come with an extended warranty 41. I’ll grant you three wishes 42. I listen 43. I don’t mind cleaning 44. I don't tear the tags off my mattresses until I get home 45. I will take out the trash 46. I’ll hold you when you need it 47. I'm slippery when wet 48. I don’t smoke 49. I've never read Playboy for the articles 50. I'll make you laugh 51. I love surprises 52. I'll never under cook the eggs 53. I'll never drink your last beer 54. I can make a mean pot of chili 55. I brush my teeth at least twice a day 56. I can handle your PMS 57. I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops 58. I recycle 59. I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop 60. I pay my own bills 61. I'll take care of you when you're sick 62. I'll make fun of you 63. I can give a kick ass back rub 64. I won’t bother you when you are out with your friends 65. I like porn 66. I am tall 67. I don't care if you leave the seat down 68. By reading this far you already invested 69. I read the paper 70. I've got cookies 71. I don't chew tobacco 72. I take a shower every day 73. I have a cell phone 74. I'll let you beat me at pool 75. I won’t wear a t-shirt into the pool 76. I don't eat crackers in bed 77. I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard 78. I love steak 79. I don't care what music we listen to in the car 80. I love kissing your forehead 81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on 82. I clean my sheets 83. My heart will jump every time you walk through the door 84. I'll save everything you ever give me 85. I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming 86. I will pump your gas for you 87. I will open your door for you 88. I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it 89. I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know 90. I like holding your hand 91. I have a Roth IRA & 401K 92. I always open a window when I paint 93. I've never been on Americas Most Wanted 94. The only drama I have any part of is on t.v. 95. I have more to my list, if you ask"