I think I'm in LOVE (but not really)

I just found a profile on match.com that made me smile so good. Who knows if all the items on his list are original, but I love it! I imagine some are original because I think he mentions at least two and three times that he has a career. LOL. Anyway... I hope it makes you smile. (Although... I'm not quite sure what girl would want to date him because of #65...)

"I am very mature and goal oriented. I want someone that uses personification, metaphors and similes on a regular basis! Here are is my 95 reasons why you should date me: 1. I go to the gym 2. I have a career, not a job 3. I've got a shiny new Blockbuster card waiting just for you 4. I promise not to use your back to keep my feet warm 5. I'll let you push me on the swings 6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste 7. I'll stash little notes for you where you'll least expect them 8. We’ll make history together 9. I will scratch your back 10. Sleeping alone just sucks.... period! 11. I’ve traveled outside the U.S. 12. There isn't anything I feel I can't tell you 13. I wish I could give you all of my firsts 14. I won’t nag you to watch sports 15. You’re safe with me 16. I'll wait for you even if you're late 17. I'll lick the envelope for you 18. I work 19. I'll let you sneak a taste when I'm cooking 20. I know CPR 21. I won't make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family Christmas parties 22. You turn me on! 23. You love my dorkiness 24. When you are trying to keep count, I will try and mess you up 25. You’re magically delicious 26. I suck at strip poker 27. I’ll hold your coffee for you when you’re driving 28. I have a career 29. I promise not to burn the house down while you’re gone 30. I listen to pretty much anything 31. I’ll make you Mickey Mouse pancakes 32. I won’t bite unless you want me to 33. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we are doing it together 34. I’ll circle your birthday on my calendar 35. I'll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv 36. I'll carve your initials in a tree 37. I won’t swear around your family 38. I dance 39. I have a car 40. I come with an extended warranty 41. I’ll grant you three wishes 42. I listen 43. I don’t mind cleaning 44. I don't tear the tags off my mattresses until I get home 45. I will take out the trash 46. I’ll hold you when you need it 47. I'm slippery when wet 48. I don’t smoke 49. I've never read Playboy for the articles 50. I'll make you laugh 51. I love surprises 52. I'll never under cook the eggs 53. I'll never drink your last beer 54. I can make a mean pot of chili 55. I brush my teeth at least twice a day 56. I can handle your PMS 57. I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops 58. I recycle 59. I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop 60. I pay my own bills 61. I'll take care of you when you're sick 62. I'll make fun of you 63. I can give a kick ass back rub 64. I won’t bother you when you are out with your friends 65. I like porn 66. I am tall 67. I don't care if you leave the seat down 68. By reading this far you already invested 69. I read the paper 70. I've got cookies 71. I don't chew tobacco 72. I take a shower every day 73. I have a cell phone 74. I'll let you beat me at pool 75. I won’t wear a t-shirt into the pool 76. I don't eat crackers in bed 77. I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard 78. I love steak 79. I don't care what music we listen to in the car 80. I love kissing your forehead 81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on 82. I clean my sheets 83. My heart will jump every time you walk through the door 84. I'll save everything you ever give me 85. I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming 86. I will pump your gas for you 87. I will open your door for you 88. I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it 89. I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know 90. I like holding your hand 91. I have a Roth IRA & 401K 92. I always open a window when I paint 93. I've never been on Americas Most Wanted 94. The only drama I have any part of is on t.v. 95. I have more to my list, if you ask"

DONE!

I just got my fourth exam score and I am DONE!!!

I do still need to take an ethics exam, but that has no bearing on these last 4 exams. I can fail the ethics exam, and I will not lose the others.

I AM DONE!!!

Humorous job postings

I've got my resume all prettied up, so I'm on the hunt for a job. I'm still not done with the CPA exam, and I have the next test scheduled for May 2, so I'm kind of taking it easy on the job hunt for right now and trying to jump into the studying head first. It'll be easier to get a job if I have all four of those exams passed! So for now, I'm circulating my resume with friends and business associates. I decided to do a quick scan of craigslist just to see what's out there.

I found a posting for a Financial Analyst position with the following details:

Physical Demands
The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk and hear. The employee frequently is required to stand, walk, sit and use hands to operate a computer keyboard. The employee is occasionally required to reach with hands and arms. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 10 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, and ability to adjust focus. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen a job description, or anything else for that matter, with statements such as that. I got a laugh from it. Hope you do too.

Peace and love.
J

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday I joined "Team Unemployed" an so many else have and will in these dreary and frightening times. Those of you who still have your jobs are extremely lucky and if you haven't already, you should start going above and beyond so you can keep it! I'm keeping busy with updating my resume, emailing my contacts, and searching job postings. I'm also doing the necessary evils of making sure I'm stocked up on prescriptions, canceling my luxury utilities such as my data PDA plan and Netflix. Still contemplating whether I should cancel the gym membership and cable. I've lived without TV before, but it gets depressing when you live alone... And I might be able to put the gym membership on hold, but I'm thinking now is as good a time as any to get into a groove at the gym, not to mention my membership dues were just reduced from $40/month to $20/month because my three year contract just ended. I think that's something I've earned and can't give up... unless I don't find a new job within a month... then I think I'll say adios to Bally... or at least put the membership on hold.

And now for a somewhat humorous story... I just spoke, via facebook chat, with my new cousin-in-law who lives in England. He works for DHL there and said they informed him that hisi job is secure. Why? Because they have a contract with Cadbury. And Cadbury is doing amazingly well during this recession. Apparently chocolate sales are up because when people get depressed, they turn to their tried and true friend: chocolate. (For those of you who don't know, cadbury sells more than just the Easter cream eggs. When I was in Australia, Cadbury was THE chocolate to be had.)

If you happen to know anyone in San Jose or the SF Bay Area who would hire someone with a degree in accounting and 4 years experience as an auditor with a public accounting firm, please let me know. Thanks!

Peace and love.
Julie

Raw Emotion & Inspiration

My friend, and fraternity brother, Jason has picked a fight with cancer. He himself is not stricken with cancer, but cancer has stolen treasures from his life. For the past few years Jason has participated in the LIVESTRONG challenge, cycling for 100 miles to raise money in the fight against cancer. Jason trains for the challenge most of the year, and as he has participated for the past few years, I'd certainly say that he has dedicated his life to the fight.

Watch this video, and tell me you are not moved. Watch this video and tell me you will not support Jason and everyone else who is so brave as to stand up and pick a fight with cancer.



If you were as moved as I was, you can go here to join the fight, and/or here to make a donation in support of Jason.

THANK YOU!

I'm feeling inspired today. Jason inspires me. and there are two women out in the blogosphere who I am happy to have been acquainted with. They are strong, extraordinary women, mothers, friends. So I post this poem in their honor. For Kori and April - Thank you for being phenomenal!

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

from And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou.

Jason, Kori, April, you inspire and humble me. I am grateful to have you in my life.