Thursday, February 21, 2008

An open letter to the people of Los Angeles

Haven't you seen the insurance commercial with the extremely rude guy getting pissed off at everyone and the narrator says, "You don't act like this in your everyday life; why act like this in your car?" Ummm... yeah, I'd say you have NOT seen the commercial.

A couple things:

  1. The world is NOT ending! IT'S CALLED RAIN!! Contrary to popular belief, the rain does not cause your brain to fail. If you calm the frick down, you can drive the same way you usually do, just add some caution and be a tad bit slower. And when I say a tad bit slower, I really mean it; no need to slow to a quarter of your normal speed!
  2. Yeah, that stick coming out the left side of your steering wheel is a blinker; a turn signal if you'd prefer. USE IT!!! My personal belief is that if you don't use it, you're an inconsiderate @$$hole who has no regard for other life forms. Appropriate times to use the signal would be when you're turning or want to switch lanes. If you don't use it, I have no warning that you're coming and I'm likely to hit you or get really pissed off! Also, it's kind of THE LAW to use it!!
  3. If I turn my blinker on to signal that I'm coming into your lane, it is totally unacceptable for you to speed up and honk at me. The blinker serves as a polite notice to you that I'm coming, so don't be an inconsiderate @$$hole and express your anger via your horn.
  4. And that brings me to your horn. The entire purpose is to let someone know if there is impending danger. This means that it should be used to warn someone that they are about to hit you or somethings else or about 20 seconds after a light changes green if the car in front of you has not started moving. It is NOT there so you can use it to express your unending anger, hatred, and frustration. We're ALL frustrated. We're in LA. and we're driving. This means:
    • Do NOT honk at the car in front of you immediately after the light changes green. That one virtue? It's called patience!!
    • Do NOT honk at the cars not going because there are cars in front of them - perhaps blocking the intersection. Yeah, people block the intersection. Laying on your mother-effing horn is not going to open up a portal in space in time that will miraculously cause those cars to move so you can get through the light.
    • (But come on people, at least pay attention and try not to block the intersection - especially you double-long-accordion-extended buses; you @$$holes purposely block the intersection far too often.)
    • Do NOT honk at someone who pulls forward a little to far past a stop sign - guess what... they're STOPPED... probably means that, surprise, they actually SEE you and are waiting for you to pass before they drive further!!

Moral of this long-ass gripe post: BE CONSIDERATE! Realize that we're all in the same situation, and we're all trying to get somewhere, and we're all frustrated.

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