It's everywhere... romance and marriage and love and kissing and sex. It's on TV, on the street, in the movies, all my friends are in relationships... I totally cannot relate with any of that right now. I'm single. I've pretty much always been single. I'm so over it. My Grandma tells me every chance she has that she prays for me everyday, and I'm 99% sure she's praying that I find a man and get married and have babies. Like, NOW. It's everywhere. It's all around me. All this good stuff that I don't have. I'm not complaining like I'm desperate, I'm just saying I'm annoyed.
My outlook has changed recently about all this love stuff. I used to feel like I desperately wanted someone to love me; to be in love with me. Of course I still want someone to love me, but now I feel that I yearn to love someone else. I feel like I'm welling up with love to give. This is a relatively recent realization that came to me a couple weeks ago. I was spending some quality time in the kitchen, which i very rarely do. I guess I just don't feel like it's worth it to just cook for me. So when I was making my clam chowder from scratch - figuring out how to friggin cook bacon for the first time - a thought came to me... I enjoy cooking for other people. I think when I'm in a relationship and when I get married I will definitely want to cook for my husband and family. I think it will be vary satisfying to give and to provide for him. I've felt this is the past with a couple guys I have dated and made dinner for, but I never really processed the thoughts until now. I'm yearning to have someone who I can love and I can cook for and I can take care of. I have so much love to give. It's like my heart is full, but at the same time incomplete.
My outlook has changed recently about all this love stuff. I used to feel like I desperately wanted someone to love me; to be in love with me. Of course I still want someone to love me, but now I feel that I yearn to love someone else. I feel like I'm welling up with love to give. This is a relatively recent realization that came to me a couple weeks ago. I was spending some quality time in the kitchen, which i very rarely do. I guess I just don't feel like it's worth it to just cook for me. So when I was making my clam chowder from scratch - figuring out how to friggin cook bacon for the first time - a thought came to me... I enjoy cooking for other people. I think when I'm in a relationship and when I get married I will definitely want to cook for my husband and family. I think it will be vary satisfying to give and to provide for him. I've felt this is the past with a couple guys I have dated and made dinner for, but I never really processed the thoughts until now. I'm yearning to have someone who I can love and I can cook for and I can take care of. I have so much love to give. It's like my heart is full, but at the same time incomplete.
This afternoon I was spending time with one of my best girlfriends, sharing these thoughts with her. She and her husband, whom I introduced her to, were married in November. She shared that she agrees; she really enjoys taking care of her husband and being able to provide for him in certain ways.
One of my favorite quotes is from When Harry Met Sally: "When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
In other news, my nephew Landon should be arriving any day now! As of this afternoon, his mom was dilated to 1 cm and having contractions every 15 minutes. That sounds pretty darn serious to me; like he'd be coming today or tomorrow, but her comment was "The contractions are only 15 minutes apart, so I think we have a while to wait still." (I obviously don't know anything about being pregnant and giving birth!) I have a feeling that I'm going to love Landon more than I've loved any one else before him. :)
J
1 comment:
OH you definitely will love him more than anything before! It's amazing having a nephew, I can't even imagine how much I will love my own kids! Congrats, I am so excited for you!!
Post a Comment