Not a housewife

I'm completely hopeless. I commented on Kori's post today that I can't cook, and she replied with, "ANYONE can cook; haven’t you seen Ratatouille?" Well Kori, here's how pathetic I really am...

My mom gave me a bunch of fresh limes from her tree yesterday, so I decided to make fresh, home-made margaritas tonight. First of all I needed tequila. Margaritas are my favorite drink, so I needed some quality tequila. I went to the grocery store, and bless it's soul, ALL of the tequila was 25% off!! I felt bad only buying one bottle, but I'm not getting paid until Friday, so maybe I better wait until then, and really, what single person needs more than one bottle of tequila in their apartment?! Then, I had this genius not so genius idea to cut and peel the limes, put them in the food processor, and blend! Well, my food processor didn't do that swell of a job and it ended up pretty chunky. Also, VERY sour. After taking a few unpleasant sips, I came to my senses and decided to look up a recipe for simple syrup with the hope of adding a little sweetness to my concoction. After a little Google search, I find it really is quite simple:

Ingredients:

• 2 parts sugar
• 1 part water

Preparation:

1. Bring the water to a boil.
2. Dissolve the sugar into the boiling water.
3. Once the sugar is dissolved completely, remove the pan from the heat.
4. Allow to cool completely and bottle.

So I go into the kitchen and pour 1 cup of sugar into a pot, and pour 2 cups of water into a measuring cup. Then I realize, I think it said boil the water first, then add the sugar. So I pour the sugar back into the sugar canister and pour 2 cups of water into the pot. I looked at it and decided I may as well make a bunch and save it for later (as another website advised). So I add 2 more cups of water, making that a total of 4 cups of water. When it starts to boil, I add 2 cups of sugar, and gee it dissolved very quickly...

I'd seen a link for "flavor infused simple syrup" so I came back to my computer to check that out. The recipe was the same as above and listed, for example: 2lbs of sugar and 16oz of water. I thought, That's a lot of sugar... That's 1 pint glass of water and 2/5 of a bag of sugar (a 5lb bag of sugar to be exact). Oh shit!, I thought as I frantically searched for the first site I looked at. Sure enough, idiot, TWO parts SUGAR, ONE part WATER. So I quickly poured off about half the water and added more and more sugar.

I took a couple spoons full, and re-mixed my margarita with plenty of ice to cool down the simple syrup. The margarita is delicious now, in case you were wondering. (Well, with the exception of the large chunks of lime. LOL. I'm a mess!)

But seriously, I can't cook... and really, that's not even cooking - it's freaking boiling water!!!

After re-reading that post, I think I have a serious addiction to commas. I hope I'm not a comma abuser...

Peace and love.
J

P.S. El Torito called back, apologized, and said they're transferring the $26 back into my account.